I want to be a Runner

If you haven't seen my many Facebook posts about my plantar fasciitis then you wouldn't know that I haven't done much running in the past 3 weeks. It sucks. It was part of my daily routine and a huge part of my life. Now I'm struggling to find my happy pace...or any pace at all. 

This week a group of friends and I started the Beachbody T25 workout. It's helped to relieve some stress but it hasn't been very easy on my foot. All the jumping and being on the toes not only makes the muscles in my foot sore but also the plantar fascia. It's nice to feel the dripping sweat and sore muscles but I NEED to run. 

I wasn't one of those runners that thought, "I'll never get injured." I was the runner that thought,"Plantar Fasciitis won't happen to me." I thought maybe a twisted ankle, back injury, pulled muscle, but never this. Not that any of those injuries are any better but this is my foot- my main tool in the process of running. Yes, I sound like a big baby. Yes, I know there are a lot of people in the world who struggle more than I do. Yes, I am stubborn and need to let it heal. However, I can not allow myself to give up or quit. I have a goal of completing the Wild Duluth 50K in October and I don't know how to give it up. This is something I've wanted to accomplish for a long time and I know it will be there next year but this was suppose to be the year. Actually this whole running year has been pretty bad for me. Fargo was embarrassing and miserable. Alaska was awesome but a little slower than I wanted. Wild Hog has been downgraded. I've gained weight. I've lost speed. My stomach issues have only gotten worse. I surrounded myself with everything running and now it's all being "rubbed" in my face. Facebook is full of running posts, my friends are becoming more active, and people ask me running questions all the time.

"Are you racing this weekend?"

 "Are you doing the Color Run this weekend?" 

"Are you going to any other states to run?"

"Are you planning this race?"

"Are you helping with that race?"

"You wanna run?"

"Did you run today?"

"You probably already ran like 15 miles today, huh?"

I get it. It's awesome that people know me as a runner but this is the worst time to finally get that type of attention. Any runner who has been injured knows exactly what I am talking about. It's like a painter who can't paint, a photographer who can't take photos, a director without a cast, a baseball player without a ball, etc. Something is missing and I don't like it. 

So true.

I get it. Some of you are rolling your eyes and think I'm being dramatic. OK, I am over-exaggerating a bit but seriously I miss running and I want get back out there. There are some things that can't be replaced and this is one of them. Biking, swimming, and lifting weights are all good workouts but they just can't be compared to running. Who feels my pain? Please share your injury experiences with me so I know I'm not alone. 

*Throwing myself a pity party.*