I was going through some of my texts recently and there were quite a few that made me laugh. So I thought I'd share a few of them along with other interesting comments I receive from time to time.
"I just went to DD to get an iced tea and the man working there was so nice I just started to cry. Yep, looking right at him cried. What is wrong with me?"
"I was at a parent teacher conference this morning and all of a sudden I had a coughing fit. Like 15 minutes of straight choking. Then one of the teachers tampons fell out of her pocket and rolled across the floor. The whole thing was awkward."
"Have you tried Quinoa? It is friggin yummy!"
My text to my sister: "I just dropped my gloves on the black diamond while on the ski lift."
Sister: "Go get em sista! And yell "woooooooohoooooo" the whole way."
"Okay I have issues. I went to the store on my lunch break and went to go in the "automatic" door. Well it wouldn't open so I figured it was broken. So I pushed my way through. It was hard and I think I actually heard my shoe go squeeeeeeak. Anyhow, whew I got in. Turns out it was the exit. Everyone was just staring at me. Hey, one guy followed my lead so I am not the only cool girl."
A 240+ lb male walked into a room and asked me, "Can you give me a piggy back ride?" This was not my husband either.
"Never been so happy to run in rain and high wind as yesterday."
"Totally random awkward thought...have you ever heard a song or songs and had this sudden urge to start drinking and make whoopy with your hubby? And 9 times out of 10 you are not near booze OR your hubby. No need for [name] to answer...here ends my thought."
"When I change I will insist you leave the room. Chicken salad sandwich."
"9:30 in the a.m. Why am I going to love you???"
"Yeah me and a big 14 year old smile looking at his abs- yum."
Texts about kids basketball practice- "I can run them up I just can't pick up. U were too busy blogging bimbo." (my friends love me)
"I could be stranded on a deserted island. As long as it has running water...and plumbing...and a Holiday Inn Express." This coming from a male.
My 11 y/o has quite the imagination. She wanted to build a snowman so I said go ahead and build one. She formed the butt cheeks first then the head. She said, "He's pushing." Well I guess it kept her busy and she happy for a while...until her sisters hit it with the sled.
Hope you at least got a little laugh. There are a lot more but they require more explanation then it's worth.
A 240+ lb male walked into a room and asked me, "Can you give me a piggy back ride?" This was not my husband either.
"Never been so happy to run in rain and high wind as yesterday."
"Totally random awkward thought...have you ever heard a song or songs and had this sudden urge to start drinking and make whoopy with your hubby? And 9 times out of 10 you are not near booze OR your hubby. No need for [name] to answer...here ends my thought."
"When I change I will insist you leave the room. Chicken salad sandwich."
"9:30 in the a.m. Why am I going to love you???"
"Yeah me and a big 14 year old smile looking at his abs- yum."
Texts about kids basketball practice- "I can run them up I just can't pick up. U were too busy blogging bimbo." (my friends love me)
"I could be stranded on a deserted island. As long as it has running water...and plumbing...and a Holiday Inn Express." This coming from a male.
My 11 y/o has quite the imagination. She wanted to build a snowman so I said go ahead and build one. She formed the butt cheeks first then the head. She said, "He's pushing." Well I guess it kept her busy and she happy for a while...until her sisters hit it with the sled.
Hope you at least got a little laugh. There are a lot more but they require more explanation then it's worth.
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